The Hound's Lovestory
by swangirl14
Summary: The Hound meets a new girl and together they experience all what's happening in the books asoiaf
1. Scary or not?

My friends, daughters of some lesser houses, and I went down to the yard where the men were fighting and training for lack of anything else to do. The waiting was hard on everyone. I had just arrived from my father's castle. We had been supposed to meet the company on the road but because of the delay we went straight to Winterfell. We had only been here a few days and today was the first day to watch the men. One knight especially caught our interest. He was the most ferocious fighter and he was wearing a helmet made in the fashion of a snarling dog. It was fearsome to behold. We all watched him and talked about him. The men were fighting back and forth. Suddenly the knight with the Hound-helmet was close to us. His fight had stopped and he took off his helmet. We all gasped out in shocked. His face was horribly scarred. Half his face had been burned. He had noticed our shock and glared at us. My friends all looked away but I met his glance. "You don't like my face?" he asked us. By now I also knew who he was. There had been tales about Joffrey's Dog with his scars. My friends mumbled something unintelligent, but made the mistake to call him ser. Clegane did not like that and snarled at them: "I am no ser. I hate knights and I hate gutless liars. Go back to your mother's skirts! Bugger off all of you!" They all ran away. Then he turned to me: "So, how do you like my face?" I looked at his face and his scars. His lips twisted and you could see a piece of bone at the jar where the fleshed had been burned away. It was not a pretty face!

_He was surprised that the girl actually looked at his face and studied it. Most people couldn't bear to look at him long._

"I don't like it yet."

"Yet," he snarled, "do you think you might like it later?"

"If I come to like you, I will come to like your face."

_She made it sound so simple. But he didn't trust that._

"Like me," he growled, "Most people fear me more than they like me."

"I will find out if I like you or fear you." I answered, still looking at him.

_Like, it has been a long time since someone had liked him. He didn't know if he wanted to be liked or could be._

He snarled: "How would you find out if you fear me or …like me?"

"I guess I would have to get to know you."

"You would want to get to know me?" Clegane rasped, his mouth twitching. "Then dine with me tonight. I made your friends all run in fear."

"Well, they are easy to frighten." I said contemptuously. "I won't run that easy. Even though I'm sure you will give it a good try." I said smilingly.

Clegane looked at me, almost smiling. "Might be I will." And with that he turned and went away.


	2. Tests

At dinner time I went down to the great hall with my heart pounding. What was I doing dining with the Hound? But I did like how he had been making fun of my courteous friends. He was there and true to his word, there was an empty seat next to him.

"Hello," I said timidly.

"So you did come," he greeted me.

"Did you doubt it?" I asked while I was sitting down next to him. "

I wasn't sure. Most girls find me rather scary and vicious."

"I'm not like most girls."

He nodded and drunk from his cup of wine. "What would you like to talk about then? The royal family? My heroic war deeds? The story how my face got burned? Or a story about whores?"

I laughed, it was so obviously a test and I enjoyed it. "Let's see. I am not interested in the royal family. And if I were, you were probably the last person I would go to. You just don't have the look of someone standing in corners talking to some washerwoman gossiping." He laughed at that. I continued smilingly: "I am also pretty sure that if I had picked that topic you would have chased me rabidly from your table."

He laughed again, "You have that right"

"So your second choice: the heroic deed you did in war. I have a theory about men and their war stories. The fancier their garments the greater their deeds and the longer their stories and the more boring to listen too. And that's absolutely independent of if they ever have been in a fight or not." Clegane grinned at that. "For example take Theon Greyjoy. He is what like 18 if it is a day and I am sure he has never seen a foe that meant him ill, but I bet his war story could last hours and his deeds would make him sound as great a warrior as Ser Barriston. So judging from the way you are dressed" (in plain brown garments) "I should be quite safe with your story. So that might be an option, if we can't find anything else to talk about." I turned seriously then and looked at him. "About your face." He tensed a little. "I once knew a boy who had similar scars." I looked down on the table. "Not on the face, but on his arm. My maester told me that scars like that mean someone got burnt when they were little kids and were still growing. He also said that these scars always mean that they were induced by force, otherwise you'd move away." I looked up at him again. He sat very still, watching me. "So I don't think that is a story you would share lightly and I think you should know me better before you decide to tell it to me."

_Damn that girl. She just guessed half his secret. How dare she. It is his. He can't let her talk about it to anyone. _

The Hound sat without moving a muscle, only the corner of his mouth on the burnt half twitched. I didn't know what he was thinking and for the first time I got a little afraid. I spoke again quickly "About the whores. Knowing nothing about them, I must admit I am rather curious about them. But that's a story that needs to wait until I know you better." I blushed a little at that.

_He had to laugh at that, despite himself. She was interesting._

I was relieved to see him laugh again.

"You must be quite a hackle for your parents and your septa."

Now I had to laugh. "You got that quite right, they are pretty much despairing of me, ever since my latest suitor ran away from me. Some people just can't stand to hear the truth. So they sent me away to Kings Landing, hoping I will become a proper lady there or at least not to embarrass them to much or maybe just not to be there when I embarrass them."

"So you make men run away from you too," he laughed.

And we pretty much laughed through the rest of dinner. I had a great time. At the end he escorted me back to my chamber. We walked in silence a while until he said "About my face I don't want anyone to know what you guessed. You will not tell anyone, is that clear?" He ordered.

It was out of place, but I understood and I agreed, "I won't tell anyone, I promise." By then we were at my door. "I enjoyed myself a lot tonight. Thank you for that nice and fun dinner" I smiled at him.

_Damn it, it was fun._

"Maybe we could dine again together tomorrow?" he rasped. He seemed almost shy.

"I would love that, Sandor" I said happily. "On second sight, I like your face," I smiled at him and went in my room.

_He felt weird. He could still hear her_ _words "On second sight I like your face" They warmed him and made him feel uneasy at the same time. Did she mean it truly? He couldn't believe it. But she had smiled and they had laughed a lot. She had looked at his face the whole evening. And she had said his name. He had never liked the sound of his name as much as when she had said it. "On second sight I like your face" He could still see her smiling face. Could she really like him? He was strangely excited about tomorrow. _


	3. Jealousy

Ever since that day we dined together. We always enjoyed it and had a good time. First at the great hall of Winterfell, later on the road we would sit in front of his pavilion and dine just the two of us.

One day on the road I came to his pavilion as every night. But instead of two seats, there was only one and Sandor had already eaten. He was sitting in his chair, already quite drunk. I looked at him puzzled: "What's that?"

"I thought you would dine with Ser Redwyne today," he said flatly, taking a big gulp from the wine.

I was still confused, "He did ask me. But I told him that I always dine with you." That seemed to take him aback. "Why would you think I would dine with him tonight?"

"You were talking to him today, you were laughing and he touched your arm" Sandor scowled. I looked at him puzzled, but then I understood and my face lit up in a big smile. He looked at me surprised.

I was beaming, "You are jealous!" then I was actually hopping a bit, I was so happy "You really do like me!" I was so euphoric I leaned down to him and put my hands on his shoulders. I brought my face close to his and kissed him quickly on the cheek then I whispered in his ear "Don't worry Sandor, you are the only man I want to dine with." Then I ran, hopped joyously away.

_He was stunned. She had kissed him. He felt lightheaded. He needed wine. She had kissed him. He could feel his heart beating. She had kissed him. Did he just imagine that? Had he drank too much wine? No, he could still feel where she had pressed her lips on his face. He touched his face. She had actually kissed him. He felt like a boy again. He wasn't used to that. Give me three knights and a sword to fight and I know what to do. But that? And she had said "You are the only man I want to dine with" He was in love. He was a big fool in love. Does she love him too? No, she couldn't. She kind of likes him, but love. No, that couldn't be. But that didn't matter. She kissed him. She was the first. Girls never thought his face attractive and his manners didn't encourage them either. But she was different. She was different. He was grateful for that. _


	4. Pity?

The next day I always had to smile when I saw him and my face lit up and my eyes sparkled. He did smile a little whenever he saw me but turned away quickly when other people were around. But I did catch him watching me now and then. That made me feel good. At dinner we were both a little shy and neither of us mentioned what happened yesterday. But it did feel closer. He leaned closer and looked at me differently. His smile and his eyes were warmer.

Two days later all that changed. He hardly spoke at dinner and was in a bad mood. You could see he was brooding on something. Finally after a short and quiet meal, he told me to take a walk with him. We went outside the camp until it was dark around us and we were alone. He stepped away from me and turned towards me. I could hardly make out his features. He was a dark tower in the night. "Do you pity me?" he scowled, "and don't lie to me, I will know when you lie and I hate liars."

"I do pity the boy you must have been, I do not pity the man you are" I said slowly. "Why do you asked?"

"The Redwyne boy said you would only dine with me because you pity me."

"Why would you believe the man I refused for you? You know me." I was a little hurt and couldn't understand him.

He turned away from me. "Because it made sense. I am the second son of a low knight with no lands or titles. I am hideous to look at. Why would you dine with me?" he said with scorn in his voice. Now I understood and now I did feel sorry for him a little. Sorry, that he didn't think himself good enough to be liked.

"I dine with you because I like you", I bridged the gap between us with a step. "I like you because I feel safe around you, because I trust you." I touched his arm. "You don't lie, if you don't like the way I look you will tell me, so when you tell me you like me I believe you. You won't be nice to me and then turn around and mock me." I took a step and almost faced him. "I like you because you are strong and gentle at the same time." I took another step. Now I was standing in front of him. "I like your humour and that you don't think you are the most important man in the world". I put my hands on his waist and looked up at him "Most of all I like how you make me feel". And I wrapped my arms around him and leaned against him. I could feel his rough tunic against my face and smell him.

After a moment he put his arms around me too. For a moment his lips brushed my hair and he whispered "My little angel" We stood like that for a long time wrapped in the darkness around us. Until we heard some people coming close. He let go of me and rasped: "I'll take you to your tent" We walked in silence and close by each other to where my tent was. "Good night little angel" he said.

"Good night, Sandor," and I got up on my toes as high as I could and kissed his cheek ever so lightly.


	5. Floral Wreath

The next days were good and flew by too quickly.

One morning three new knights joined us, Ser Renly, Ser Barriston and Ser Payne. That day Sandor came to me and told me that he had the day off, because prince Joffrey spent the day with Sansa Stark. He asked if I wanted to ride out with him. I loved to. It was an awesome day. The weather was perfect and we talked about everything and nothing. He had packed some food for us and we had a nice little picnic. In the afternoon we sat in a meadow, leaning against some rocks. Sandor was making a wreath out of flowers. I laughed, "The Hound would have been the last person I would have guessed to be able to make a floral wreath."

Sandor smiled, "My sister taught me. The year my face got burned I couldn't go outside. So my sister brought me flowers every day. She showed me how to make a wreath. Because I had more time to practise lying in bed most times I soon got better than her and she would ask me to make her wreaths."

"I didn't know you have a sister"

His mouth twitched. "She died young"

"Oh, I'm sorry." After a little pause I added, "Were you two close?"

"Yes, we were"

"What was her name?"

"Tiana"

"A beautiful name". But it was clear he didn't want to talk about his sister.

"Here I'm done," he said smiling and showed me the wreath. It was beautiful.

"Put it on me". He came closer and gently put the wreath on my hair. Before he could pull his hands away I took hold of one and pulled it down on my face. I looked into his eyes and kissed his palm. He was very close now. "Can I touch your face?"

_He was scared; noone had wanted to touch his face before._

"Yes" he said hoarsely. I gently touched his burned side with my fingertips, "Will it hurt?" "No."

_Even as he wasn't quite sure about it, it wouldn't hurt in the way she had meant it._

"How do you feel on this side?" He moved my fingers gently onto the black flesh of his face. "Here I feel less, like calloused" He brought my fingers onto the red part. "Here it kind of tingles"

_Now his whole body tingled. _

I moved my finger to the part where his jawbone was shining through. "What about here?" I asked softly. "I don't feel anything there." He kept looking in my eyes, watching me. I brushed his burned lips with my fingertips, "How about here?" "It's the same as on the other side" he rasped. When I turned his head a little to look on his ear stump and his burned head, he looked down ashamed.

_That she touched his face was hard enough but he couldn't let her see his burned scalp. He knew it looked hideous. _

I put my hand on his chin and gently pulled his face up again. I leaned closer and kissed him softly on his lips. He didn't respond at first, but then he started to return my kiss. It was a gentle, tender first kiss. When we stopped, we looked at each other a long time. He started to touch my face hesitantly but gently. Then he pulled me closer and kissed me again. This time the kiss was stronger more urgent. We laid down next to each other, me in his arms. We looked at the sky to the clouds and we kissed and touched our faces and hands. We hardly spoke and then in a whisper. He told me I was beautiful and called me his little angel. I told him how much I like his gentleness and called him my hero. We never wanted this day to end.

_He was as happy as he could ever remember being._

But dusk came and we had to ride back to camp.


	6. The Hound kills the butcher boy

At camp all hell was loose. Joffrey got attacked by one of the Starks' direwolf. Arya Stark and a butcher boy were missing. Sandor had to go to the queen immediately and led search parties for the next two days. We never had a chance to talk and I hardly got a glimpse of him. On the third day Arya was found. Later I heard the Hound had returned as well. He had ridden down the butcher boy, killed him with one stroke from above that cut him nearly in half and laughed at that. I couldn't believe it. The man I loved, yes loved, the man I had kissed who had been so gently, had killed a boy who was running away and had laughed at that. It couldn't be. I had to go and ask him myself.

I met Sandor in front of his tent. He had already started to drink. He must have seen that I had cried and knew why. I could see that he got angry. "Is it true what they are saying that you rode down the butcher's boy and laughed at it?"

He scowled, "Don't give me that pious look and speech!" He spat out. "You knew who I am and what I do when we met. Did you think I carry that sword for fun?" He touched his longsword. "I'm a sworn shield. It is my job to kill and to kill who ever I'm ordered. And yes it gives me joy. Killing is the sweetest thing there is. I killed my first man at twelve. I've lost count of how many I've killed since then. High lords with old names, fat rich men dressed in velvet, knights puffed up like bladders with their honors, yes, and women and children too- they're all meat, and I'm the butcher. If you can't protect yourself, die and get out of the way of those who can."

Now I got angry. "I'm a woman. I can't lift a sword to protect myself. Does that mean any one has the right to kill me?" I could see that that pained him. He didn't want me to get hurt. "Or do you think I should turn to a knight for protection, a true knight?" I asked him furiously. You couldn't be around Sandor long without knowing he hated knights. He face darkened with fury, he scowled and looked like he was ready to rip my head off. But I couldn't stop "You would rather protect me than kill me. You are better than you want to be, almost a true knight." With that I turned around and left without ever looking back. I knew I got to him and almost felt a little guilty.

_Damn the girl! Damn her, damn her, damn her! He could have howled with fury and pain. Fury at the world, at her and most of all at himself. Damn it, she was right. Of course he would rather protect her than hurt her. He couldn't hurt her if his life depended on it. He didn't really wanted to be the butcher. He felt sick about killing the boy. But he was who he was there was no way back. He hated himself for that and the world and his brother. Arrgh. Now he had lost her. He had been happy. Now that had been taken away from him too. It was his own fault, how could he have hoped to find love, when he couldn't even love himself. He needed to hit something hard. He needed wine. _


	7. At peace

I didn't know what to do. I loved him, but how could I love a child murderer. But I did, there was no question and I didn't have a choice. I would go back to him. So I tried to make amendments as best as I knew. I went to the family of the boy. I gave them my condolence and offered to send the girls as handmaids and the boys as servants to my father's castle. When they asked why I would do that I had trouble looking them in the eye as I said "Because I love your son's murderer." I was glad I brought one of my father's soldiers with me. I didn't know how they would react to that. They did ask me to leave but told me they would let me know about my offer. The next day they accepted and I did as I promised.

I hadn't gone to dine with Sandor for the last two days, because I hadn't been able to face him quite yet. But today I was ready. I went to his tent. He was already in his cups and quite drunk. When he saw me he scowled "What do you want? Aren't you done yet with your pious hypocritical talk? I thought you wanted nothing to do with me anymore."

_He sure wanted nothing to do with him anymore._

"Yet here I am." I said softly with a small smile. I held out my hand to him. "Please Sandor, walk with me."

_He loved it when she said his name. She said it so softly that it was almost a caress. He didn't want to go, didn't want to hear what she had to say. His own accusations were bad enough. But he couldn't say no to her. And she did smile, could there still be hope? No, he mustn't think that. He was a monster, he had killed a boy and yelled at her. But he had to go with her anyways._

Sandor tried to get up. He was so drunk that he reeled and had to put a hand on my shoulder to balance himself. "Damn it, too much wine." We walked away from the camp into the night in silence. When we were far enough he turned to me and spat, "Say what you came for and be done with it. I want to be back to my wine."

I smiled, I knew he still thought I was mad at him. I touched his arm. "Sandor, it was the hardest test by far you put me through, but I passed it. I came back to you and I mean to stay" I took his other hand. "Yes, I wish you hadn't killed the boy, I wish you would have let him escape or taken him captive. But I…" I couldn't say it right then "I like you and if I have to take the bad with the good, I will." And I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him.

_He was too astonished to say anything. He could hardly move. His whole body got rigid afraid that if he moved one muscle it would all turn out to be a dream and she would dissolve into thin air or worse tell him how bad he was after all. He just couldn't believe she still liked him._

He pulled away. He cupped my chin with his hand and made me look up at his face. "Are you sure?" I could see his doubt on his face.

I kissed him, "Yes, I'm sure" I said smilingly. He searched my face as if he wanted to find a lie, but he must have liked what he saw.

He sighed, "My little angel" He held me close and kissed my hair "I don't deserve that."

"Some things can't be deserved or earned, they are given to you freely and unconditionally." I kissed his cheek and his mouth again. I wanted to tell him that I loved him but I could feel he wasn't ready for that yet. His doubt was still too strong.

_He didn't know what to think. He wanted to believe her but couldn't yet_. _It was too much. _

He pulled away soon. "I'll take you to your tent". I was a little disappointed I wanted to spend more time with him, but I went nevertheless. He escorted me to my tent as usually. When he said good night he kissed the top of my head again and I kissed his cheek. But I didn't feel as happy as normally. I wanted to be with him. He was still in a glooming mood. I wanted to know what he was thinking and to console him, to brighten his mood. I watched him walk away. When I realized he wasn't going back to his tent but to the woods, I decided to follow him. He was already quite far away and his strides were much longer. I had to hurry not to loose him. Twice I lost sight of him, but I was lucky and spotted him again. When he went into the woods, I ran to not loose him again. It took me a while to find him. He was sitting on a tree trunk, staring in the air.

_He was confused. He had been so certain that he had lost her and then she had come back. He kept hearing her, "I mean to stay… I like you… I will take the bad with the good… Some things are given freely and unconditionally" It had felt true and good. He wanted to believe. She had come back. But he was so convinced he wasn't worth it. He had killed the boy and so many more. He had wanted to be a true knight as a child and he hated what he had become a bitter mockery of his ideals just like his face was a mockery. He was so full of self-loathing and pain he had to drain it all in wine. "I like you" He heard again. And then he heard something else a twig or some leaves he turned around and there she was. Like a dream. He couldn't believe she had come back for him._

He turned around and looked at me in wonder. I came closer. "I will leave if you tell me to." He shook his head slowly still looking at me as if he couldn't believe I was there. "Please will you tell me what you are thinking?"

"I can't" he rasped, "not yet. I don't dare, yet".

"Okay, then I won't say a word. I just want to be with you." He started to make room for me on the trunk. But I sat down in front of him, between his legs and rested my head against his leg.

"No, you can sit on my coat" with that he moved down so that I could lean against him, sitting on his coat, feeling his breathing. He wrapped his arms around me and I laid my head on his chest. True to my word I didn't say anything and closed my eyes, feeling warm and safe close to him.

_Now he could hardly think at all, least of all of his faults. He felt her whole body against his, her head against his chest, his arms on her body, her hands in his. He didn't dare to move. He could feel her breathing and smell her hair. He felt her warmth against his skin and her fragility compared to him. For a long time he just felt, without thinking anything. She had fallen asleep fast, trusting him. Every time he moved as much as a muscle, he could feel her a new and he would feel butterflies again. Finally her warmth and her trust in him quenched his doubts. She was there with him, cuddled up against him, trusting him so much she fell asleep in the woods. She did mean it, she cared for him. She came back. He let that feeling wash through him and for the first time in a long, long time he started to feel at peace. He held her, watched her, listened to her breathing and felt good. _

I didn't know how long I had been asleep, when Sandor woke me. "I'm sorry, but I need to get up." Sleepy I sat up and rubbed my eyes. Sandor got up and went into the woods. When he came back he muttered, "Too much wine". He leaned down to me and kissed me before he pulled me gently up "It's quite late, you are tired. I'll take you to your tent, little angel." I could see that he must have come to a conclusion. His eyes and his face were calmer and he seemed more at peace. He smiled. I was tired so I let him lead me back. At my tent he kissed me on the cheek "Good night, little angel." I stood on my toes and pulled his head down, I kissed him on his burned side and whispered in his ear "I love you, Sandor", before I went into my tent and to bed.

_She had said it. He was sure, he had heard it. Could hear it still. "I love you". It felt like fire in him, but this was a good fire. She had said it. He had only dreamt about it, never really believed it. But now she had said it "I love you" and he could believe it. Now he trusted her. _


	8. Name's day

The next days passed like in a dream and then it was Sandor's name's day. I went to his pavilion early in the morning. I was so excited to give him his present. He was still sitting on his bed, not yet fully dressed. There was a washing woman too, half naked. Still he had let me come in. I was laughing, "Another test?" indicating the woman.

"You had said you were curious about whores."

"I had wanted to hear stories about them not see them."

He laughed and smacked the woman, "You heard the lady, she doesn't want to see you. Leave!" She hurried out.

"I guess a man has the right to have all his needs fulfilled on his name's day." That stopped him.

He looked at me incredulously, "You know it's my name's day?" I

laughed, "I made your squire tell me. He begged me to tell you not to harm him, that it was all my idea and that he had to follow my commands."

"Bugger him" Sandor growled, but only half serious. He wouldn't harm his squire. I handed him my present, a little box. He looked at it as if he didn't know what to do with it.

"A present for you." When he didn't react and made no motion to open the box I added, "I heard they are quiet common on name's days." Still no reaction. "Most people seem to like them" He sat back down on his bed. "But then most people tend to open their presents" I said, a little annoyed now. I sat down next to him. Finally he opened the box. Inside was a silver brooch in the fashion of a snarling hound, the symbol of his house. I had had it extra made for him. I was excited to see if he liked it. He took it out and held it gingerly.

_A present on his name's day. His sister was the last one to give him a present, about fifteen years ago. It brought back so many memories of his youth, good ones and terrible ones. His face got burned over a present. His sister showed his love with a present. Just like his little angel had just done. His sister got killed. Was his little angel going to get killed too for her love to him? All these feelings were about to flush him again. He had to get out. _

Suddenly Sandor got up. "I have to go" and with that he was gone, still clutching the brooch. I was confused and sad. I didn't know what to make of it. That was not the reaction I had anticipated. I would ask him at dinner tonight.

But he wasn't there for dinner. His squire was ordered to tell me, he would be gone and I shouldn't wait. I was even more confused. The next day I hardly caught a glimpse of him, but I did see him wearing the brooch. At least that, but for dinner, he wasn't there again. Now I started to get angry. When he avoided me the next day too and had his squire sent me away again, I said no. I was mad. I went into his tent and decided to wait for him until he came back. I was going to tell him what I thought of his behaviour. I was so mad I was pacing up and down his pavilion. But he didn't come and I got tired so I sat down on his bed and eventually laid down. I must have fallen asleep.

I got woken up by a loud "Seven hells!" and heard steel.

Frightened I called out, "It's me. Please don't kill me, Sandor."

"What in seven hells are you doing here?" he rasped. I could smell that he was drunk.

"I was mad at you," I said sleepily "I came here to yell at you, but you weren't there." By now we were sitting next to each other on his bed. "At first I was pacing up and down thinking about what to yell at you, but when you didn't come I got tired. I just wanted to rest a little, but I must have fallen asleep." I yawned. Sandor was smiling. He must have thought it amusing that I had wanted to yell at him. I leaned my head against his shoulder. "Why have you been avoiding me, Sandor? You seem to like the brooch." I touched it. "You have been wearing it ever since your name's day. And you know I wasn't bothered by the whore."

"I know" he said softly, he was holding me now, moving his fingers up and down my arm. He hugged me tight, and after a little while he said, "I'm sorry little angel, I will tell you now. I will tell you all. But not here. I don't want to compromise you. You shouldn't spend the night in my tent." He grabbed some blankets and led me outside in the woods to a place where we could lean against a tree and look out onto the rolling hills. It was a half moon and you could see little by it. Sandor laid out a blanket for us to sit on. I sat in front of him leaning against him. He wrapped his arms around me and a blanket around both of us. And then he began:

"You guessed most about my scars. Do you also know who it was that burned me?" "Your brother". He hated his brother. "Yes, my brother. I was six, maybe seven. A woodcarver set up shop in the village under my father's keep, and to buy favour he sent us gifts. The old man made marvellous toys. I don't remember what I got, but it was Gregor's gift I wanted. A wooden knight, all painted up, every joint pegged separate and fixed with strings, so you could make him fight. Gregor is five years older than me, the toy was nothing to him, he was already a squire, near six foot tall and muscled like an ox. So I took his knight, but there was no joy to it, I tell you. I was scared all the while, and true enough, he found me. There was a brazier in the room." I got afraid and cuddled closer to him. "Gregor never said a word, just picked me up under his arm and shoved the side of my face down in the burning coals and held me there while I screamed and screamed." "Ahh," I gave a small shriek and buried my face in his neck. I couldn't hear it. It was so horrible. Sandor held me close. "You've never seen him. He is monstrous big and strong. Even then, it took three grown men to drag him off me. The septons preach about the seven hells. What do they know? Only a man who's been burned knows what hell is truly like. My father told everyone my bedding had caught fire and our maester gave me ointments. Ointments! Gregor got his ointments too. Four years later, they anointed him with the seven oils and he recited his knightly vows and Rhaegar Targaryen tapped him on his shoulder and said, 'Arise, Ser Gregor.'" He was still for a while. Then he told me how his brother had killed his sister and his father, how he had left his home and never returned. Gregor had taken everything away from him that he had ever loved, everyone who had ever cared for him. My present had brought it all back, all those memories that he still haunted him, that he tried to oppress and drain in wine. His sister had been the last one to give him a present. He got afraid for me, afraid that Gregor would kill me too, when he learns about me. "You are not a child anymore. You won't let him hurt me." I tried to assure him.

_He wasn't so sure. He felt he could beat anyone with a sword, but his brother. He has been afraid of him, for as long as he could remember. He did fight him twice since he was a man grown, but someone had always intervened before it got too bloody. They were both Lannister men after all. He wanted to reassure her and himself. He wanted to tell her that he would protect her no matter what. But he needed to be honest with her, to make her see that there was danger in him. He owned it to her. Even if she should decide to leave him then, he had to risk it and be honest with her._

"I don't know if I could beat Gregor. You must understand the danger you put yourself in. He will come for you, if he learns about us."

"You are the best fighter in all of Westeros. You will be able to protect me" "Just like a true knight" I added to tease him and to ease the tension.

But Sandor just grunted, "When have you ever seen me fight? Once in the yard for practise."

"True, but I've heard tons of stories about you and everyone agrees that you are deadly with a sword and the best fighter in all of Westeros," I was proud of him.

"When did you hear stories about me?"

I blushed a little, "Well, I have been liking you now for a while and I liked to talk about you, so I asked people about you. But all they could tell me was about your fights. You keep a very low profile on the rest." I pouted a little.

He seemed amused, "That disappointed you?"

"Yes, it did, I was curious about you, I wanted to learn about you as a man, your first love, your childhood. But now I think I like it better to hear about it from you."

He laughed softly, "What is it you want to know?"

"Why, everything of course," I laughed, "the first time you loved a girl, what you liked best when you were a little boy, what you dream about, and a thousand things more and I think I am ready to hear about the whores now, too."

Now he laughed out aloud, "You are the first girl I truly loved, I liked knights best as a little boy, when I'm lucky I dream about you, but the whore stories are going to be long."

I puffed him, "No, I want to hear real stories about you, long ones with lots of details." I cuddle closer, "We have all night." And he told me. We stayed on the hill the rest of the night, cuddling and kissing and talking. It was a wonderful night. When the eastern horizon began to lighten we know we had to get back to avoid suspicions.

"I love you, Sandor" I told him again. This time he replied, "I love you too, little angel" he rasped and held me closed.

_He did love her, had loved her since she first spent a dinner with him, but he still found it hard to tell her that. He wasn't used to talking about his feelings, at least his positive emotions. He had never trouble showing his anger. That was what he had felt most of his life, anger and rage. And pain. Anger at his brother, his father, Rhaegar, knights, hypocrites, liars and himself. He hadn't loved since his sister died, some fifteen years ago and he hadn't been loved. He felt uneasy. He didn't know how to love. Rage he knew, obedience he could, but love and being loved. He was excited and afraid. _


	9. Finally a room, and alone

After that day we would always take a long walk after dinner, far away from the camp. We would sit down when possible and kiss and touch. But it was never enough. I wanted to be alone with him in a room preferable with a bed and a lock at the door. As I told him that much he laughed his soft rasping laughter he had whenever he was pleasantly surprised and couldn't quite believe that I meant it. He promised me he would try to find a room like that in the castle.

Soon our journey down from Winterfell was at an end. We finally arrived in King's Landing. Sandor had promised to send his squire when he had found a room suitable for us. I couldn't wait. In the Red Keep we couldn't dine together like we used to. I had to set up my chambers and he had to stay with Joffrey. I hated to wait. It took him almost three days to send his squire. He brought me to a small room opposite the library. There were some books there too, which hadn't fitted in the main room, a fireplace, a rocking chair and a big bear fur in front of the fireplace. And there was a lock on the door too. It was perfect.

Sandor was already waiting for me and a fire was crackling. I ran in his arms. It had only been three days but I had missed him. We kissed long. At some point Sandor lifted me up in his arms, so that our faces were on the same level. We sank down on the furs. I was nervous, I had never been that close to a man, but I wanted him. His kisses made me long for more. I wanted to feel his hands on me, to feel his touch and his kisses on my body. I know he had been with whores so he would know what to do.

_He was nervous. He had been with whores but that was different. He wanted her to like it, to want more. He had never been with a woman this way. Whores just fuck, they don't kiss. And he hadn't wanted them to. There was no tenderness, just business. Afterwards he could hardly recall their faces. This was different and he was nervous._

Sandor opened the laces of my dress slowly and only the first three, then he turned me around and slit the gown from my shoulders. He kissed my neck gently and tenderly. It felt very good. He brought his hands around my waist and touched my breast. I felt all my body tingle and wanted more. I leaned against him and put my hands on his. He massaged my breast softly. His mouth wandered up my neck until he kissed my earlobe. I moaned and turned around, we kissed and he undid more laces. Now my breasts were partly showing. He touched one gently with his fingers. He kissed me again, then he wandered farther down kissing my throat, the top of my breast, while holding the other one. My nibbles hardened and he squeezed them lightly. I held his face in my hands and pulled his mouth to mine. I was shy, but curious and hesitantly I began to open his shirt. I touched his skin and moved my hands up and down his body slowly. He had many scars and I traced them lightly with my fingers, while we kissed. I bent down and kissed his shoulders, his throat. I felt his arms and it excited me how strong he was. I could feel his muscles. I touched his nibble and squeezed it lightly. I kissed a scar near his collarbone, all the while my hands were exploring his body. I could feel his stiffness between his legs through his breeches. I brushed it with my fingertips but I was still too shy to open his pants.

_His whole body was on fire. He had never been touched like that. Touched so tenderly and yet so longingly. Her skin was so soft, her fingers playing on his body. Her kisses on him. His lips on her breasts. His hands on her back and her neck. She was soft everywhere. He wanted to kiss her and feel her, never stopping. It was better than he ever imagined it. He wanted her, wanted her bad, but even more he wanted her to want him. To really want him and enjoy him and his caresses._

His hands closed on my waist. His hands were so big that they touched on my back. He kissed me hard and long, when he pulled away I could see his hunger in his eyes. He opened my bodice and cupped my breasts in his hands. He put me down on the fur and lay on top of me, kissing me and holding my breast. His kisses went to my throat, my bosom, my breasts, squeezing and sucking my nibbles. I was wet and hungry for more. His hands moved slowly up my legs, massaging them. But he stopped before he reached my wetness. One hand stayed on my thigh, the other squeezed my nipple hard and we kissed, when I exploded. I arched my back and moaned. I felt tired and excited at the same time.

_She had liked it, he was sure. He had pleasured her. He felt weirdly proud. He was still hot and stiff, aching to relieve him in her. But he could feel, she wasn't ready for that yet. And he wasn't even sure he was. There would be more nights like that. Many more nights he promised himself. _

Our kisses grew longer and more tender. I could feel his body on mine. We were still touching each other, but there was more softness less urgency now. He rolled on his back and put his arm around me while I laid my head on his shoulder. We started talking again in a whisper. I asked about his scars, but there were so many that he had forgotten when he had gotten them.

_He started worrying about his burns. He had forgotten about them before, caught up in the moment. But now he felt very self-conscious and he wondered how they felt on her soft skin and if she found them repellent. He had to know. _

After a while he rolled me over on my back again. He kissed me between my breasts. "How does my face feel?" he asked worried. I had to smile, "Your right side scratches a little, you aren't shaven well enough." His burns were on the left side. He laughed softly, "I will be clean shaven tomorrow, if it pleases my lady." Laying his burned side between my breasts, he asked again seriously, "And the burned side?" I stroke his hair, "It feels like you." I answered and pulled his face up to kiss him.

We met in the chamber every night. I was a virgin, but my handmaid was not. I spent several hours listening to her and learning. Soon I wasn't shy anymore and I was able to please him as well as he did me, without him ever taking my maidenhead. I assumed he wanted to wait for our wedding night.


	10. Threats

There was to be a tourney for Eddard Stark, the new Hand. When Sandor learned that his brother would come to King's Landing he was very worried. "You will not talk to me or even look at me, when my brother or any of his men are anywhere close." He ordered me. "We will not meet and pretty much pretend we don't know each other, do you understand? I will not have you endanger yourself!" I did get a little angry at the way he treated me and was about to say something defiant, when I saw the fear in his eyes and I conceded, "I understand, I will obey your orders." I told him, a little mockingly. He looked at me sharply and scowled, "This is no laughing matter."

_He didn't know what to do. Normally he would threaten to beat her bloody if she didn't obey. But he could almost hear her mocking laugh, when she was going to call his bluff. She knew as well as he that he would never beat her. How else to convince her? Threaten to kill her wouldn't serve either. Damn it. It was way easier to be a brutal bully than to be nice. But he had to convince her. _

Sandor looked so pained that I took pity on him. "I will stay away from you. I won't talk to you or look at you, when your brother or any of his men is around," I promised him, kissing him. He was satisfied by that. But he also threatened Varys, the whisperer, that he would suffer whatever fate should befall me, if Gregor ever learned about Sandor and me. I guess, he found it easier to cow the eunuch than me.


	11. The Hand's tourney

The tourney for Eddard Stark, the new Hand of King, was held beyond the city walls. A lot of famous and not so famous knights took part, among them Ser Gregor, The Mountain That Rides, Sandor's brother. It was the first time I saw him and it was hard not to get afraid of him. He was more than huge, he carried his name rightfully. He was well over seven feet tall, closer to eight with massive shoulders and arms thick as tree trunks of small trees. Sandor entered the lists as well. I watched them from the ranks. Afraid every time Sandor had to ride, but he and his brother seemed unstoppable, riding down one foe after the next in ferocious style. Ser Gregor killed a young knight on his second joust.I grew a little more afraid. I remembered all the stories Sandor had told me and all the warnings he had given me. I hadn't quite taken them seriously but now I understood. Sandor unhorsed Lord Renly. His head hit the ground and one of the tines of his golden antlers on his helmet snapped off. He handed Sandor the broken tine with a gracious bow. Sandor snorted and tossed the broken antler into the crowd. I laughed, that's what I liked about him. He was no show, but true to the bone. In the end it came down to Jaime Lannister, Ser Loras, Sandor and Gregor. It was already quite late and the king decreed that the last three matches would be fought the next morning.

I was worn out from all the excitement and anxious about tomorrow, if Sandor would have to fight his brother. I yearned to talk to him, to feel him, to be reassured, but he had been quite clear, that as long as Gregor was at court, we were not to speak or meet. I hated that. I did go to the feast and I glimpsed him sometimes, but he was always far away from me. I went back to the castle sooner than most and since I knew I was too restless to sleep I went to our room. I felt closer to Sandor there. I sat in the rocking chair and started to read a book.

Suddenly the door opened and Sandor entered. He came straight at me, kneeled down and buried his head in my lap. He was breathing fast. I stroke his hair, wondering what had happened. He seemed so upset. "I told Sansa Stark how my face got burned. The Others take her and me. It was stupid. She promised not to tell and I threaten to kill her, if she did. Still, she is just a stupid little girl." He growled. "She won't tell. She might be a stupid little girl, but she loves songs and stories about true knights, she won't tell your secret. She wants to be part of a song too badly and the heroines in the stories don't tell secrets." I tried to assure him. His breathing got a little calmer. We stayed like that for a while until I asked "Why did you tell her?" It had taken him long to tell me. I felt a little jealous. He got up and faced the fire. "Too much wine, having to face Gregor tomorrow, having told you and… she reminds me of my sister. Her head is full of songs, she still believes in true knights and told me how gallantly I rode and how noone could withstand Gregor. It made me furious that she believed Gregor was a true knight. I wanted to shake her, to make her see the truth, that _Ser_ Gregor is a monster that burned my face." I went to him and wrapped my arms around him, "She won't tell. It will be okay." I turned him around and kissed him. He soon responded and for a moment we got lost in the kiss. But he pulled away. "I need sleep, I might have to kill my brother tomorrow. And it is not safe for us to be together." He kissed my hand. I wanted to tell him, I would pray for him, but he would have just laughed at me. I wanted to wish him good luck, but that didn't seem appropriate for a fight of life and death. Because I was sure that's what it would be if the two brothers had to joust against each other. "I will be there and watch you" was all I could say. He nodded and left. By myself I prayed for him.


	12. The brothers fight

The final tilts started in the morning. Sandor was up against Jamie Lannister. He wore the brooch I had given him for his name's day. At the first joust Sandor almost lost his balance as Ser Jamie's lance hit him. I let out a scream and bit my hand. But Sandor just managed to stay in the saddle. I was a little relived, but still anxious. I didn't want him to get hurt, no matter how silly that feeling was. He was a fighter after all and I had seen the scars on his body. They rode again. This time both lances exploded, and by the time the splinters had settled, Ser Jaime Lannister rolled in the dirt. I was cheering wildly, I was so happy.

But now it was Ser Gregor's time. I was afraid all over again. I couldn't believe that anyone let alone a mere boy of sixteen, like Ser Loras, who by the looks of it weighed about a fifth of Gregor, could unhorse him and then it would be Sandor up against him. I remembered the knight yesterday that Gregor had killed. I grew so afraid I could barely watch. Ser Gregor had trouble controlling his horse and when Ser Loras' lance hit him, the Mountain was falling. There were cheers and over it all you could hear the Sandor's rasping, raucous laughter. I was still anxious. I couldn't believe that it would be over that easy. Ser Gregor came back on his feet. He was furious. He called for his sword and killed the horse with a single blow. There were shrieks everywhere and mine among them. Now Ser Gregor was striding down toward Ser Loras Tyrell his sword in hand. He knocked him from the saddle and lifted his sword for the killing blow, as a rasping voice warned, "Leave him be," and a steel-clad hand wrenched him away from the boy. I had been so intense on Gregor that even I had forgotten about Sandor, but there he was saving Ser Loras. I had never been so proud and so afraid at the same time. I clutched the railing and held my breath. The two brothers fought for what seemed like an eternity, as Ser Loras Tyrell was helped to safety. Thrice Ser Gregor aimed savage blows at the hound's-head helmet, yet not once did Sandor send a cut at his brother's unprotected face. It looked more like Gregor meant to kill Sandor than the other way round. I had always been a little horrified when Sandor talked about killing his brother, but right now there was nothing I wouldn't have loved more. The king put an end to it and twenty swords. Ser Gregor dropped his sword and strode off. I let out my breath. I didn't think I had taken one breath since the fight had begun. I was so spent I could have cried and I wanted to be with Sandor. I wanted to run over and hug him and kiss him. Making sure that he was okay and truly alive. I needed to feel him. Instead I clutched the railing even harder if possible and waited for the final joust. A few moments later Ser Loras Tyrell walked back onto the field and said to Sandor, "I owe you my life. The day is yours, ser." "I am no ser," Sandor replied, but he took the victory. The commons cheered him as he left the lists to return to his pavilion. And I cheered with them as loud as I could. I did have tears in my eyes, but for joy.

Damn his orders. I had to see him. He was hurt and he had just fought his brother, I needed to see him. I called my handmaid and sent a servant boy for a flagon of wine, good wine. My handmaid and I switched clothes. When the boy returned with the wine I looked like a servant girl. I put the hood over my head and hid my face. I hurried off to Sandor's pavilion.

"M'lord, the wine you wanted." I mumbled when I entered his tent. His squire had already taken down his armor and a servant was starting to clean it. I looked up in his face for a second and saw him recognize me, before I looked down again on my shoes, like a humble servant. I put the flagon on the table.

"Get out, all of you!" I pretended to leave. "Not you" he scowled. I stood still, eyes downcast. When his squire and the servant had left, he growled at me, "I thought I had given you specific orders to stay away." "You had, my lord. And I followed them as best as I could." Sandor grunted, "That wasn't very good then." I slung my arms around him, "You are right, I'm not very good at staying away from you at all." And I kissed him. Despite all his growls, he kissed me back. I could feel his hunger. I had heard that man after a fight needed sex and I wanted to give him just that. I opened his tunic and kissed him softly. I was afraid it would hurt him where Jaime's lance had hit him. I kneeled down in front of him. I could feel that he was already hard. I opened his breeches and pleasured him with my mouth. It didn't take long. He lifted me up and put me on his bed. He kissed me gently at first then harder, while opening the laces of my dress. He took my breast in his hands and squeezed my nipple till I moaned. He put two fingers in me and found just the right spot. With his lips on mine, his hand on my breast and his fingers in me it didn't take long for me either.


	13. Honor and decency

We lay next to each other on his bed. I touched his stomach, where Ser Jaime's lance had hit him, "Does it hurt badly?" Sandor dismissed it, "It's nothing, it will be green and blue for a while and that's it." I was thinking about the tourney, "Your brother is a horrible man," I said, "The way he killed that poor horse," I had sat up and was shaking my head, "he was just loosing as everyone else before and then he went berserk trying to kill Ser Loras. And then you were there and saved him" I said beaming, "It was like out of a song", just like a true knight I was thinking but I didn't dare say that out loud. I took his hand and kissed it. "I was so proud of you." Sandor looked like he wasn't sure if he liked that or not. "Your brother was mad, he beat at your head three times. Yet you never tried to kill him. He wasn't wearing a helmet." I looked at him with puzzlement. He got up and went a few steps away. He turned away from me.

_She was right whenever he had faced Gregor in battle he couldn't bring himself to go for the kill. He hated him, hated him with all his guts. Yet still something always held him back. He didn't like to think about what it could be and he didn't want to talk about it._

"It wasn't the right time or the right place", Sandor growled. He seemed reluctant to talk about it, but I was curious and wanted to know how he felt. "Have you fought him before, after you had left your home?" "Twice", he said after a pause. "What happened?" "Someone had stopped us, just like today," he would still not look at me. "Did you try to kill him then?" He didn't answer. When I couldn't endure the silence anymore, I went to him and put my arms around him, I was afraid of his reaction to what I was about to say, "You didn't try to kill him for honor and decency." True to my fears, Sandor whirled around, pushing me away from him. He spat angrily, "Honor and decency, who do you take me for? The Hound don't know honor or decency." I could hear his despise. I looked him in the face. "I don't love the Hound, I love Sandor Clegane. And Sandor has honor and decency." He turned away with a pained look on his face.

_Damn her, she knew him way to well. He didn't like that. He could feel his own yearning for honor and decency. As much as he tried to drain it in wine or suppress it with cynicism and bitterness, he never really managed to put it out for good. It tormented him and shamed him. _

"The Hound is like a cloak you don to deal with a bitter world, to protect you in a way. He can show the world a rough face and do things that you abhor." I put my arms back around him leaning my head on his back. "That's why you got so mad about the butcher boy." I had been thinking about it. Sandor winced and growled. "You still get mad about it, because you care. You told me about Ser Meryn Trant from the Kingsguard. He is a man who wouldn't get mad if anyone mentioned a boy he had killed, because he doesn't care, he doesn't have honor or decency. You do, you care, and that's why you get so mad, at the world and mostly at yourself." Sandor stood very still. "You are torn between the Hound and Sandor." He turned around and hugged me tightly. I never saw his face. He sighed. After a while I asked, "You told me that you loved knights when you were young. Will you tell me what happened to change that?"

_He didn't want to. That memory was almost as painful as the one about his burns. But she had pushed too far. He couldn't bear the pain. She was right he was torn and she had just opened up the wound. He needed to face it now. He couldn't just drown it or turn his rage at someone else, as he normally did. _

He put me on the bed and lay next to me. He turned me so that my back was towards him. He put his arms around me and began in a hoarse voice, "I loved knights since I can remember. I loved to hear their stories and the songs about them. I wanted to be a knight," he sighed, "a true knight. I had my head full of songs as bad as that Sansa girl. I believed that knights are good and honourable and that they protect the weak. I knew my brother was neither of that. He has always been cruel and mean. I was certain that he could never become a knight. I didn't exactly know how it would happen, but I was sure beyond a doubt that someone would stop him. I thought that maybe the septons at his vigil would see him for what he was and tell the world or that Rhaegor himself would tell him he wasn't a true knight. I was so sure. I was ten or eleven when my father and I attended the ceremony. My sister had died a few months ago, murdered by Gregor. I remember being actually excited, because I thought now he would have to answer for all his crimes, now the world would know. But nothing happened. No septon interfered. Rhaegor tapped him on the shoulder and said 'Raise, Ser Gregor'. That was when…" His voice trailed off. "When you broke," I whispered. "Yes," he rasped, "that's when I broke." For a moment he was the ten year old boy again, whose all world had just shattered. I turned around and hugged him tightly.

After a while I sat up, I had thought of something that might cheer him up. "When I was young, I never liked stories." I made a face, "I was a practical girl and I was always questioning the songs and stories, 'Why did they do that?' 'Couldn't they just have talked about it?' and so on. Needless to say that quite annoyed our septa and the other girls." He smiled a little at that. "I remember one story where two knights were going to rescue some maiden from a dragon or a mad knight or something, and the story said that they rode for three days straight. I thought that was so stupid, no horse can ride for three days straight and even if the knights ate and drank on the saddle and even slept there, there is one thing they could never have done," I paused for a more dramatic effect, "they could never take a piss while riding or holding their water for three days straight." He looked at me incredulously, "I tell you I tried – not the peeing while you ride – but holding my waters." I hadn't finished talking before he burst out laughing. "I went to our maester and told him how stupid these songs are. He laughed at me, much like you right now," I added smiling, "He told me that the songs don't really lie, they only tell the important things, the gist. He said that it wouldn't make a really good song, when they included everything. Like they started out to rescue the maiden, after five hours one knight had to take a piss. They stopped and then rode on. Two hours later the other knight had a bowel movement. That took 20 minutes and lots of fresh leaves." Sandor was laughing again hard. "The maester also said that the true knights weren't true knights all the time, even they had to fart or took whores or got angry and cursed. But these were all things that wouldn't get mentioned in a song. He said all men are grey, some are lighter, some are darker, but no one is all white." I saw him thinking about it, but he still had to laugh, he mumbled, "taking a piss" and laughed out aloud again "bowel movements… now that might be a song I could like today." I got a little annoyed, "Stop that," I told him, "it was a reasonable question." He just laughed louder. I grabbed a pillow and started hitting him with it. But he was too strong to fight, in no time at all, he had both my arms pinned with one of his big hands over my head on the bed. He was lying heavily on me, but it felt just right. "What now?" I asked. "Now," I could see amusement in his eyes. "I'm taking a piss," with that he strode out of the tent, never reacting to the pillow that hit his back.


	14. His sigil

A while later Sandor gave me a present, he had bought from the money he had won at the tournament. It was a necklace with a kingfisher, the sigil of my house. It was wonderful and I hugged him and thanked him. But when I asked him to put it on me, he hesitated. "I have another gift for you, if you want to have it," and he gave me another box similar to the one with the necklace. I was surprised and curious. When I opened the box, there was another necklace but instead of a colourful kingfisher, this necklace had a black hound, the sigil of his house. I took it out gingerly. What did that mean? He was giving me his sigil to wear.

_He felt awkward. He didn't know why he had had that second necklace made. It had been an impulse. _

I looked at the necklace a long time, my thoughts racing. Finally I turned to him. "Would you put it on me?" Without saying a word, he put the necklace on me.

We were lying naked on the fur after having pleased each other. I was wearing his necklace with the hound. There was one question that had bugged me now for a while and especially since he gave me the necklace with his sigil. I sat up to better look at him. "Sandor," I began timidly, "I was thinking, now that you gave me the necklace with your sigil, the Hound," I was nervous, "well, I was wondering, I mean you never said anything." He seemed amused by my obvious disability to say what I mean. I tried again, "Will you marry me? Or I mean do you mean to ask me to marry you?..." My voice trailed off. His face changed where there had been slight amusement was now just sternness and hardness. I couldn't read his face anymore. He turned away and began poking the fire.

_Damn it. He had dreaded this subject. He had thought even she, no matter how kind and gentle, should have realised that she could never marry him. He wasn't worthy of her. _

He finally said, "We can't marry. You should know that. You are from a old house, I'm barely more than a hedge knight. My grandfather was a kennel master. You will marry someone better than me." "Someone _better_ than you?", I said angrily, "and who do you esteem to be _better_ than you?" He shrugged, "LordBeric, or Ser Robar or Ser Loras." "The flower knight" I said with contempt, raging, "Are you out of your mind?" "Why half the girls in King's Landing are in love with him." He got me so angry. "Well I'm the girl who is in love with the Hound and I wouldn't wipe my arse with the likes of Ser Loras." With that I tossed on my dress, grabbed some of my clothes and stormed out, telling him "You are an idiot!" He was such an idiot. What did he think he was doing telling me to marry some other man. Did he think he was just going to stand there and watch me get marry to someone else? Well I was going to show him just how big an idiot he was!


	15. Silent Sisters

The next day when Sandor came down into the yard for fight practise as I knew he would, I was already there, talking and smiling at Ser Robar. He was one of the three, Sandor had named the day before as my possible grooms. I was going to make him see what an idiot he had been. I just felt a little sorry for Ser Robar. I was laughing at him and touching his arm. I knew Sandor would be watching us and would get furious. He didn't disappoint me. His face was red with rage and his veins were bulking out. He looked ready to kill someone right there with his bare hands. I did feel pity for Ser Robar. When it was time to start, Sandor picked him right away and bashed down on him with blind fury. If he had had a real sword and not just a tourney one, it would have been the end of Ser Robar. Even so he soon fell from his horse and Sandor was still coming at him. He yelled and others came to help him.

When he was back at his feet he shouted at Sandor, "Are you mad? You almost killed me. Save your wrath for your foes not your own men."

Sandor was still mad. He threw the sword and his helmet away, turned around and stormed away. I ran after him and saw him enter the tower of Maegor's Holdfast. I followed him up the tower. When I arrived at the top, he was facing outwards.

I was mad and I yelled at him, "If you want me to marry him so badly you should try to keep him alive."

He swirled around and grabbed me. "Don't you ever do that again" he snarled.

I was more angry than frightened "What? Talk to the man you wanted me to marry. Do you want me to marry him without talking to him, without touching him? How do you expect the bedding to happen?"

He lifted me up and put a dagger at my throat. "Stop that or I'll kill you."

"Bah, you better put that dagger away before you do something you will regret. You would miss me, you know" I spat at him. He had never been able to scare me.

_Arrgh, she could get him so angry. He did want to shake her. He didn't know what to do. He tightened his grip. But of course she was right. He wouldn't hurt her. That made him even madder. _

With a howl he let go of me and turned around again. "Leave" he rasped.

I waited a few moments, then I stepped closer and wrapped my arms around him and leaned against him. "Sandor, who do I love?" When he stayed still, I asked him again, "Please answer me, who do I love?"

"You love me", he rasped.

"And who do I want to talk to and smile at?"

"Me"

"And who do I want to touch and bed?" moving my hand down on him.

"Me" this time I could hear the smile in his voice.

I turned him towards me "And who do I want to marry?"

"You want to marry me" he sighed.

"Yes, I want to marry you and only you" I put my arms around him and cuddled up against him. He sighed again and brushed my hair. He kissed me on the top of my head.

"Little angel, I have nothing to give you, no lands, no titles. Your father would be horrified. You could marry someone from an old honourable family. My grandfather was a kennel master."

"You're right. I could marry someone who could promise me a more comfortable and safer life and yes, my father will be horrified. But I could not marry someone who could promise me a happier life and there are things I could do that would horrify my father even more, like marrying the Imp or joining the Silent Sisters"

He chuckled, "I don't know what would horrify me more the Imp or the Silent Sisters".

I pulled away from him, "So? Well then I promise you, if you don't marry me I will join the Silent Sisters." He looked shocked. "And I mean it! So it's your choice, what life you want for me: Happily married with you with lots of beautiful wild children or collecting bones and moving them around the country." I looked at him triumphantly and grinned. "What do you chose for me?"

"You wouldn't" he said unbelievingly.

"I would" I answered sternly, trying to oppress a grin. "Actually I will go to the next septa I find and asked her how I can join up." I turned towards the serpentine stairs. He caught me before I could make half a step holding me in his arms.

"You got me. I will think about the marriage," he said into my ear. His breath tickled my neck. But now I started to get annoyed and worried that he still needed to think about it.

"If you don't want to be married to me, just say so and I'll shut up." He turned me around and lifted my head up.

He looked me straight in the eye, "I love you and there is nothing in the world that I would want more than to be married to you. I will talk to you about the marriage tonight."

I smiled up at him, "Then I won't go and join the Silent Sisters today."

"I would be expressively grateful for that." He answered smilingly.

_The Silent Sisters. He couldn't believe it. How did she come up with that? And he wasn't even sure she wouldn't actually do that. Just to show him. He had to laugh. She was stubborn. And she did want him as husband. It was still hard to believe. _


	16. To marry or not to?

I was waiting for Sandor in our room. I was excited. I wanted him to marry me. But when Sandor came in, he was serious.

"Are you sure?" he asked me again. I was getting a little annoyed again. He made it so hard.

"Yes, I'm sure" I answered.

He sighed, "I will marry you then." That sigh was too much.

"You make it sound like a punishment," I said angrily. "I'm not covered with boils as you very well know." He looked up surprised. "I'm not that hard to look at," I continued still angry, "and I have yet to be called stupid or mean. You could do quite worse than taking me for your wife. I hear Lady Tanda is still looking for a husband for her daughter Lollys. Maybe she would please you more. You know back home there were actually men wanting to marry me. They made the effort of coming to my father's castle and asking for my hand." His laugh cut me off then. I had to smile too a little, even though I tried hard not to.

"Stop it, don't threaten me with Lollys. I will marry you and gladly." He started to come to me.

But I turned away, "Bah, I should make you beg for my hand now."

To my astonishment Sandor dropped onto his knees and took my hand, "Sweetest and most beautiful lady in all of Westeros I beg you for your hand in marriage. I have loved you from the first day we met. My only wish since then was to see you happy, if you will take me as your husband I will not cease to try to bring you joy every day of your life."

I was stunned and smiling wildly by now, still he had made me wait so long, "Maybe, I will think about it." I said with as stern a face as I could manage.

He chuckled, jumped up and before I knew it he had lifted me up in his arms. "No, my lady, we will marry, if you will it or not. If I have to I will bind and gag you," kissing me hard.

I was laughing, "That would make for such a lovely wedding." I kissed him back. "Well, if you give me no choice in it, I guess I will concede." We kissed again and he lowered me down on the bear fur. He was on top of me, kissing me long and good. I yearned for more which he gave me.

"When are we going to get married?" I asked Sandor, after we were both satisfied.

"I'm going to ask the queen for a leave so that we can go and see your father. I mean to ask him for his consent."

"He won't give it," I answered somewhat frightened.

"Then I mean to marry you anyways."

I was relieved, "Why ask him then?"

"For honor and decency," Sandor replied smilingly.

I made a face, "I knew I should never have mentioned them. You know, we could get married tomorrow."

"We would never get a septon for tomorrow."

"I mean to get married by the old rites, in the godswood. We keep the old gods at my father's castle."

"I still intent to do it the honourable way."

I pouted a little, "What about the bedding, we don't need to wait with the bedding for my father's consent, do we?" I asked with a wicked smile, showing him my breast, touching his manhood.

He laughed and kissed me, "Are you so eager for the bedding?"

"We waited long enough. I want to feel you in me."

He rolled on top of me. He kissed my lips, my neck, while his fingers were caressing my breasts and nipples. I went wet all over again. Then he pinned my arms over my head and said with a smile, "Now that wouldn't be very honourable, would it?" He laughed at my protests and stopped them with a kiss.

_That was one of the most important thing he was going to do in life, and that at least he wanted to do right. He was sick of being the Hound, he didn't quite wanted to be a knight, that thought still made him growl, but he wanted to try to be … what? Better, purer? More gallantly. More like he wanted to be as a boy. _

Nothing I said or did could sway him. Even when I tried to provoke him, "When did the Hound all of the sudden get so damn honourable, chivalrous and knightly?"

Sandor just laughed, "Remember you don't love the Hound, you love me. You were the one who told me I had honor and decency, more than some knights. I take my Hound's cloak off, when I'm with you."

There was no changing his mind and despite all my pleas and pouting, I was very happy and couldn't wait to be off to see my father.

But all our plans got shattered. Queen Cersei told Sandor, he couldn't have a leave right now. She expected tensions between Stark's northernmen and her westermen and she needed Sandor here. He could go when peace was restored. So we had to wait.


	17. Fighting

Sandor had to leave King's Landing because King Robert and prince Joffrey were going to hunt a boar. As Joffrey's sworn shield Sandor needed to accompany them. While he was gone, I heard that his brother had been raiding villages in the riverlands. Eddard Stark had sent out men to kill him. I wouldn't know how Sandor would take that. He hated his brother and always talked about killing him himself. I for one would be happy, when Ser Gregor was dead and even happier, when he didn't die by Sandor's hands. I was afraid of him, mostly for Sandor's sake but also for mine. He still tormented Sandor, he was like a ghost that was always around him, pushing him down, getting him furious, filling him with rage. He was no knight because of Gregor, he took up service with the Lannister because of Gregor. He created the Hound because of Gregor. No matter how far he runs from his home and his childhood, his dead sister and father, his rage and fear of Gregor are always with him. Even interfering in our relationship. The sooner Gregor was dead the better.

The fighting Queen Cersei had expected started the day after King Robert died. I could hear them fight and shout and scream. Sandor had warned me that morning to stay inside my chambers and not to go to our room at night. This night Sandor came to my room. He had blood on him and collapsed onto my bed. I told my handmaid to get a bath ready. I took a towel and started cleaning his face. First his burnt side then the other one. His eyes never left me. When I had cleaned his lips, he pulled my face down and kissed me hard. His hands were in my hair, holding my head tight. When he released me, I washed his hands, kissing his palms. He was still looking at me not saying anything.

_He had killed many men today, no woman no child. He had taken care of that. It's still been butcher work. The only ones who had put up a fight had been the first ones in the throne room. The other had been too surprised to defend themselves much. He felt soiled. That had been no real fighting, that was just butcher. He had been the Hound and felt bad. He had wanted to be better, whiter. But he was just a mean dog used by its master to kill and inspire fear. He had wanted to be more. He had always wanted that but had almost given up. She had given him hope again. With her he could have felt like a decent guy with honor. There had been no honor today. He had needed to see her to see that he hadn't just dreamed her, that she was real. He had needed to know if she still loved him, if there was still hope. _

I took of his boots. My handmaid had filled the tub with hot steaming water. I sent her away and opened Sandor's tunic, letting my fingers run down his body. I helped him getting undressed and he lowered himself into the tub. I started washing his hair out, it was dirty with blood. After a while he finally began to talk. He talked about the men he had killed, how most of them didn't even had a weapon to fight back. He had broken down several doors with a warhammer, behind one the steward's daughter had been hiding. "I didn't kill her, others wanted to. I told them to bring her to Sansa. She was an eleven-year-old girl. She screamed when I hacked down her door. I saved her, for all the good it will do her." I didn't say a word, but just listened and let him talk. When his hair was cleaned, I sat down behind him and put my arms around his neck. He held my arms. When he was done talking, we were both quiet for a while. Then I kissed his face and went around so that he could watch me get undressed. I climbed in the water with him and leaned against him. He held me tight, brushed my hair away and kissed my neck, my cheek. Then we just lay like that for some time. I could feel his breathing getting calmer.

After a while he started moving his hands up to my breasts, massaging them. He was kissing my neck. I could feel him getting stiff. I was going to turn around, but he said, "Don't" He slipped his fingers in me, one hand still on my breast and kissed my neck, my shoulders, my earlobe until I cried out with pleasure. Then I did turn around and kissed him long, finding him with my hand. I never took my lips of him while I was moving my hand up and down the way he liked it. He took my breast in his mouth and soon moaned as he spilled his seed. By then the water was getting cold and we got out of the tub. We were still hardly talking, while we put our clothes back on.

"I love you," I told him, when he was about to leave.

He hugged me tightly and kissed my hair. "I love you, too." With that he was out of the door.

I thought that now everything was going to be okay, that Sandor would get his leave, we would go see my father and get married. I was very wrong.


	18. Kingsguard

Soon there was the first court session of Joffrey's reign. Many lords were wanted to come and swear fealty to Joffrey. People on the small councils were dismissed and replaced. All that was to be expected from a new king, but then something unprecedented happened, Ser Barristan Selmy, Commandor of the Kingsguard, got released from his service. Normally kingsguards serve for life.

It was Littlefinger who said, "If we might resume, the seven are now six. We find ourselves in need of a new sword for your Kingsguard."

Joffrey smiled. "Tell them, Mother."

"The king and the council have determined that no man in the Seven Kingdoms is more fit to guard and protect His Grace than his sworn shield, Sandor Clegane."

I felt my heart stop. No they couldn't do that, that couldn't happen. We were supposed to get married. Not him.

"How do you like that, dog?" Joffrey ask. I had never hated him more, I hated it when he called Sandor dog. What would Sandor say? You couldn't really refuse such an offer, it wasn't like the Queen and King ask you and you had a say in it. It was an order, a polite order, but an order nevertheless. Still I hoped, if any man would dare to defy them it'd be Sandor. Joffrey liked him, he could say no. But would he want to? Every boy dreams about being a knight of the kingsguard. Sandor must have dreamt to be like them too, like the Sword of the Morning. I grasped my Hounds necklace tight, biting my lips as I waited for Sandor's answer, that would destroy all my hopes.

_He didn't know what to say. He had dreamt of being a knight of the kingsguard. They are supposed to be the finest knights in Westeros. Every boy wanted to be one of them. But what about her? She wanted to marry him, he wanted it too. A knight of the kingsguard isn't allowed to marry. But did he really have a choice? You can't refuse your king and queen. Damn it, if that had happened a year ago, he …, no he had been a different man then. He had not wanted to have anything to do with knights, because of her he thought better of himself, because of her he felt like it was a chance to redeem himself, and because of her he didn't want it anymore. Still he couldn't refuse and he felt like he owned it to the boy he had been who had been denied so much. _

Sandor's face was hard to read. He took a long moment to consider. I began to hope, when he said, "Why not? I have no lands nor wife to forsake, and who'd care if I did?" I wanted to scream, I know he had added the last part for my sake. To tell me he didn't have a choice. I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. My knees were wobbly. I yanked at the necklace so hard, the chain broke and parts clattered to the floor.

_He could hear some clatters from the audience. He couldn't see her, but he was sure it was the Hound's necklace, he had given her, which she had worn ever since then, that had ripped. He felt horrible and felt his old rage come back to him. He could feel his self-hatred return like the fire that at once started it. He had ever only wanted to make her happy, and now he had hurt her bad. He wanted wine but even more her eyes on him, the feel of her arms around him, her head on his shoulder. But that was all behind him now, he felt his old familiar rage. _

The burned side of his mouth twisted. "But I warn you, I'll say no knight's vows."

"The Sworn Brothers of the Kingsguard have always been knights," Ser Boros said firmly.

"Until now," Sandor said in his deep rasp, and Ser Boros fell silent.

I ran from the audience hall to my room and buried my head in my pillows. I still had the Hound pendant in my hand. I cried. I never wanted to leave my chamber again, or my bed. I just wanted to be buried and forget the world around me.


	19. One year

Four or five days later, I had lost track of the days I had spent burying myself in bed, I finally mastered up the courage to go back to our room. I wasn't sure if Sandor was going to be there. He was and he was wearing his new white cloak of the Kingsguard. I hated that thing. Sandor's face was stern and I couldn't see what he was thinking.

_He had dreaded this moment. He needed to end it with her. It hurt him badly, but worse was the knowing that he was going to hurt her. Every night she hadn't come he had been both relived and anxious because he knew he couldn't escape it. Better to face it right away than waiting for it. But now that she was here, he didn't know what to say. He had to end it even though the thing he wanted to do most was to rush to her, pick her up and kiss her. No, he couldn't think about it. He had to end it. He steeled himself. He had to be harsh and hurt her. _

I was nervous and afraid, as I had never been around him. We looked at each other without speaking.

Finally he said in his rasping voice, "I set you free. Go and marry who ever you want."

That got me angry, "Did you take me captive, so that you can set me free? Or did you steal my love, that you could set it free? I gave you my love freely and it is mine to take it back." I paused for half a heartbeat, not quite knowing what I was going to say, "And I don't," I whispered. It wasn't what I had meant to say, but it was what I felt.

Sandor looked at me half angrily and half longingly. "You don't know what you are talking about. We can't marry. I can't father a child. I can give you nothing. I will not speak to you again after tonight." he growled. His words went through me like cold steel. But I wasn't going to give him up without a fight. I walked up to him until I was standing right in front of him. I had to tilt my head back so that I could look at his face.

"Yes, you will!" I declared. "You can still give me your love, your protection," I touched his face, "your smiles, your laughs," now I was touching his chest, "and now and then your body. And don't tell me you don't want me anymore, just because someone put a white cloak on you." I kissed him hard. He wasn't quite returning my kiss, but he didn't stop it either.

_Damn it. That wasn't how he had planned it. She had kissed him and he wanted to kiss her again so badly. But he couldn't. No, he had to be strong._

After the kiss, he was still for a long time before he started stroking my face, "I still want you, little angel," he said hoarsely, "but I won't let you ruin your life. You can marry and have children. You can still find happiness."

I paused, "These are troubled times, Sandor. Kingsguard isn't for life anymore apparently. The north will not forget Lord Stark. Renly has fled with his men. Stannis has left King's Landing a while ago. Many Lords are wanted to swear fealty. Not all will comply. My handmaid told me the servants are whispering of war. Who knows, maybe Joffrey will die and you will live and be released of your service. I will wait for you for a year, maybe two. And then we will see."

_One year. He could have her for one more year. Part of him wanted to rejoice, another to howl. He should end it right now right here. But he wanted to give in. _

I kissed him again. He sighed, "One year, not longer! I won't let you ruin your life. I will send you away then!" I hated it when he was giving me orders.

"Bah, maybe I will send you away!" I bluffed.

Sandor chuckled, "and I will go, wherever my lady tells me to."

"Better don't expect the same obedience from me." I mumbled. He smiled, he knew me well enough. We kissed long and he took me in his arms. I started to cry again, now that he held me. He hugged me tightly and stroked my hair, not saying a word, until I was cried out.

_He felt horrible. He should have ended it. She cried now and she would cry again in a year. He hated himself for his weakness. He had only wanted to make her happy and now he had to hurt her again. He felt furious again at himself and helpless. He couldn't do or say anything to ease her pain. He could just hold her. _

We lay down on the fur with my head on his chest and his arms around me. Neither said much. I had one question that had been nagging me. I was afraid to ask, but I had to know his answer, "Why did you accept to be one of the Kingsguard?"

It took him long to answer me, "I had to accept it. Joffrey and the Queen would have taken it very ill, if I had refused."

I knew that much but I wanted to know how much it meant to him, if it meant more to him than I did. "Did you want to be one of the Kingsguard?"

He hugged me tighter, guessing why I had asked, "Yes, I wanted to be one of the Kingsguard, every boy dreams about it. And I am proud of it. It feels good to wear the white cloak and to know that I am in company of legends like the Sword of the Morning. Even though the knights on the Kingsguard right now are not worth a penny." He paused, "but I would have refused for you." I beamed, that was what I had wanted to hear. I kissed him long and good. He knew that was what I wanted to hear, but he didn't lie. A Hound doesn't lie, he had told me more than once. I chose to believe that.


	20. Hypocrisy

I had heard people say that the white cloak of the Kingsguard changes people and I was getting worried. The next time I saw Sandor I told him about my worries, "Little angle, you were the first woman to love me, the first to trust me. The first one to find pleasure in my touch, the first one to try to understand me. You made me want to be a better man and to cast away the Hound. I will always love you and want you." I was happy and smiled. I hugged him tightly and we made love.

Sandor soon came to dislike his new duties Joffrey often had Sansa beaten by one of the Kingsguard. He never used Sandor, but Sandor was still there and saw the abuse. He felt bad about it. He started to drink more and his rage and temper were worse. I tried to console him, but his mood was too bitter and I could just smooth him a bit. He did try everything he could to help Sansa.

On Joffrey's names day he even lied for her, to avoid a beating

This night in our room I told him I was proud of him. He just spat. He was torn even worse than before, now that he wore the white cloak of the Kingsguard. He felt the hypocrisy even worse and the plain obvious difference between reality and pretence. Everyone saw it everyone knew yet everyone kept on pretending. It drove him mad and he was drinking even more than usually.

Another day Joffrey had Sansa beaten in front of half the court and had Ser Boros torn her dress off. Sandor told him it was enough, but Joffrey wouldn't stop, until finally the Imp put an end to Sansa torment.

I was proud of him. At night in our room when he entered I wrapped my arms around him and buried my head in his chest.

"Please let us go, take me away. I hate it here. Cast away the white cloak. Let us get married and live somewhere in peace just the two of us. We wouldn't need servants. We could get many many kids and have a home, where we feel safe, where no one gets beaten and no one lies."

_He didn't know what to say. They both knew they couldn't do that. He wanted to he yearned for a normal life. Even though he had hardly an idea how it would feel like. He just wanted some rest. _

He never answered. There was no answer. I knew as well as he did that we could never do that and that we there was hardly any hope for us to be together like I said. I wanted it so bad. Mostly for him. He never had a home he felt safe in. After a long time we let go of each other and lay down. But we just lay close to each other. We didn't speak or made love as we usually did. I was proud of him, but I couldn't tell him. We just felt the body and the warmth and the comfort of the other. It was all we had.


	21. Kingsguard or not

When Myrcella sailed to Dorne, we all went to say farewell at the ship. On our way back was a riot and we got attacked from the mob on the street. Not all of us could escape. Sandor rescued Sansa and came back into the castle on her horse.

Someone cried fire. Tyrion ordered, "Clegane, you'll go with him." For half a heartbeat you could glimpse fear in Sandor's dark eyes. I stared at Tyrion angrily. Every fool should know that Sandor doesn't like fire. The look was gone in an instant, replaced by his familiar Hound's scowl. "I'll go," he said, "Though not by your command. I need to find that horse." I knew Sandor was afraid of fire. I did not want him to go. He had just escaped the riots and now he was going again. "I'll be back" he said to no one in particular and especially to me.

I got off my horse and suddenly felt so tried and exhausted. I wanted to be with Sandor. I gave my horse to a stableboy and went to my room to change. But I couldn't stay indoors. I had to know about Sandor. I went down in the yard and sat on a flight of stairs where I could see the gate. I waited for him. I thought about our relationship and my fears. I decide that we would get married. Kingsguard or not.

I waited for Sandor a long time. When he came I could see that he was exhausted. He stopped when he saw me.

_She was waiting for him. It made him feel good. He wanted to rush over and take her in his arms. To kiss her and hold her. He was exhausted and had been scared. He hated fire. He needed her comfort, her warmth. To feel secure. But no one could know about them. Because of his white cloak. He had to go to her anyways. It made him feel so good, that she had been waiting for him. That she cared for him. _

Sandor dismounted his horse and told a stableboy to take care of it. I could see that he was sooty from the fire. His white cloak was more grey than white from the ashes. He came towards me. I wanted to run in his arms, to hold him, to make sure he was okay, that he wasn't hurt and truly back and safe. I needed to feel him. But I know I couldn't. Because of his white cloak. All I could allow myself was to take his hand.

"Are you hurt?" I asked anxiously.

"No," he rasped. I could see that he wanted to hold me too. We were still for a while just looking at each other.

"I will come to your cell as a servant," I whispered.

He nodded. I ran to my chambers, sent a servant for a flagon of wine and made my handmaid switch clothes with me. I threw over a big cloak with a hood. I went over to the Kingsguard building, the hood over my head and my eyes downcast.

When I reached his cell, I put my arms around him and held him tight. I needed to feel that he was alive. He leaned his head against mine. I didn't know how to start.

"Sandor, I was so worried about you. I love you and … the next time you go off fighting and I am left not knowing if you will come back or not…. I want to be your wife and carry your true born child….. I want to marry you Kingsguard or not." My voice trailed off. I didn't know how he'd react. He looked at me a long time. I got nervous but I knew that's what I wanted. Finally he nodded and held me tight. I couldn't believe he had consented like that. I had thought I had to talk him into it. When it sank in I started to feel joyous like I have seldom felt.

I pulled away and looked at him, "Truly?" I asked. He nodded again but he looked solemnly.

_It was what he wanted. She was right Kingsguard or not. It wasn't at all how he had imagined it. He didn't feel any better now than as the Hound. If there was no honor in the Kingsguard, he could at least do what his heart told him to. He was already part of the hypocrisy wearing his white cloak. It made him feel so bad. He might as well do something he loved. _


End file.
